Maharat al-Tawasul ma al-Awlad
- Author died
- -
- Editions
- King Abdulaziz Center for National Dialogue
Maharat al-Tawasul ma al-Awlad (Communication Skills with Children, subtitled Kay Taksib Waladak? / How to Win Over Your Child?) is a parenting and family communication handbook by Khalid al-Hulaybi, published in 1430 AH (2009 CE) . Prepared in cooperation with the King Abdulaziz Center for National Dialogue, the work was completed in al-Ahsa on 23 Shawwal 1429 AH .
Background and Purpose
Al-Hulaybi framed the work around addressing a growing generational gap and estrangement between parents and their children, which he noted has led to educational difficulties, behavioral deviations, filial disobedience, and parental neglect . The author asserts that upbringing is an acquired discipline rather than an inherited trait, emphasizing that modern children face complex cultural and psychological influences that require parents to master effective conversational and communicative techniques rather than relying on one-sided authoritarian directives or outdated methods .
Structure and Content
The book is organized into seven core axes (mahawir):
- Specific Definitions (Taʿrifat Khassah): Explores the linguistic and terminological definitions of communication (tawasul / ittisal) and dialogue (hiwar), framing communication as a social interaction aimed at strengthening relationships through exchanging ideas and feelings . It outlines the three major components of communication—content (speech), movement (gestures), and style (tone of voice)—referencing Albert Mehrabian's study showing the predominance of non-verbal factors (55% movement, 38% style, and 7% verbal content) .
- Communication Skills and Positive Parenting (Maharat al-Tawasul wa-al-Tarbiyah al-Ijabiyyah): Examines the modern challenges of upbringing and the necessity of parent-child reciprocity in conversation .
- The Child's and Adolescent's Worthiness to Engage in Dialogue (Jadarat al-Tifl wa-al-Murahiq an Yuhawir): Highlights the capability and readiness of young people to take part in meaningful dialogue .
- Benefits of Dialogue with Children (Fawa'id al-Hiwar maʿa al-Awlad): Discusses the positive developmental, psychological, and social outcomes of familial communication .
- Psychological Preparation for Dialogue with Children (al-Iʿdad al-Nafsi lil-Hiwar maʿa al-Awlad): Details how parents can mentally and emotionally prepare for effective interaction .
- Communication Skills with Children (Maharat al-Tawasul maʿa al-Awlad): Analyzes practical conversational techniques, illustrating them with prophetic pedagogical models—such as the Prophet Muhammad's ﷺ dialogue with a youth seeking permission for unlawful conduct, highlighting techniques including physical proximity, seating posture, emotional acceptance, and rational questioning .
- Practical Methods for Successful Communication (Asalib ʿAmaliyyah fi al-Tawasul al-Najah): Offers applied strategies for daily parental practice .
Method and Scope
The book bridges Islamic scriptural sources and modern psychological and communicative principles . Al-Hulaybi clarifies in the introduction that the term "children" (awlad) encompasses both sons and daughters, while "parents" (abaʾ) addresses both fathers and mothers . The text concludes by stressing that effective communication utilizes verbal, physical, and expressive channels, demonstrating that prophetic tradition engaged all sensory faculties alongside speech when guiding children and adolescents .
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