Lamahat fi Tarbiyat al-Banat
- Author died
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- Editions
- Dar al-Qasim
Lamahat fi Tarbiyat al-Banat (Glimpses into Raising Daughters) is an Islamic pedagogical treatise authored by Abd al-Malik bin Muhammad bin Abd al-Rahman al-Qasim, presenting practical guidelines and religious directives for raising female children in accordance with the Quran and the Sunnah .
Background and Purpose
The author composed the treatise in response to what he observed as a scarcity of dedicated writings on the upbringing of daughters, despite the subject's critical importance in Islamic family life . He aimed to provide a concise set of directives and observations directly addressed to both mothers and fathers, framing parental care not merely as a domestic obligation, but as an act of worship (ibadah) that fulfills a religious trust .
Structure and Content
The work opens with an introduction and a prologue examining prophetic traditions on the virtues and spiritual rewards of raising daughters, highlighting that caring for them with patience and benevolence serves as a protection against Hellfire and a means to attain Paradise .
The core body of the book is structured around thirty-three numbered pedagogical points and counsels, covering various spiritual, behavioral, and practical dimensions of parenting :
- Theological and Spiritual Foundations: Instilling gratitude for the blessing of having female offspring while repudiating pre-Islamic distaste for daughters; anchoring the child’s upbringing in sound monotheism (tawhid) and religious devotion; and maintaining sincere intention (ikhlas) and persistent supplication (du'a) for their righteousness .
- Parental Conduct and Role Modeling: Ensuring that household income is earned through lawful (halal) means; demonstrating personal righteousness as a living example (qudwah hasanah); and organizing regular family study sessions focused on Quranic exegesis, hadith, and the biographies of exemplary women such as the Mothers of the Believers and early female figures .
- Habituation and Religious Practices: Training daughters in regular ritual prayer (salah) starting from age seven; encouraging Quran memorization through dedicated study circles; and instructing them prior to puberty in the legal rulings governing ritual purity and menstruation .
- Emotional Connection and Communication: Maintaining open communication and reciprocal dialogue rather than one-sided lecturing; curbing parental anger and avoiding severe physical discipline; providing emotional warmth, affection, and praise; and dedicating quality parental time to the home .
- Social Environment and Discipline: Cultivating modesty (haya'), proper Islamic dress, and moral restraint; monitoring influences from peers, telecommunications, television, and the internet; and safeguarding the domestic environment from frivolous pastimes .
- Fairness and Preparation for Adult Life: Upholding strict equality and fairness between sons and daughters in affection, gifts, and treatment; training daughters in domestic responsibilities; and actively seeking suitable, religiously upright spouses to facilitate early and virtuous marriage .
The treatise concludes with a reminder that guidance ultimately rests in God's hands, urging parents to remain diligent in prioritizing their daughters' spiritual welfare and preparation for the Hereafter alongside their worldly affairs .
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